It's No Walk in the Park...

Recovery from birth is awful. At least it was for me with my first one. I was recovering from an emergency c-section. 

They don't let you even try to stand up for the first 12 hours. Then when you do, you have to have two helpers to get to the bathroom.

The first day they keep pushing on your uterus to get it back to its original size. It was just the size of a watermelon! Can't we take a few days to get back to the size of a pear? No. Push that uterus back in shape and while we're at it, we're gonna squeeze all the fluid out that's still in there. Gross. And like everything else the past few days, it's out of your control-and I'm sure very necessary, but whatever!

On top of all the nastiness and pain, they then hand you your tiny bundle of joy. Whom you're supposed to stare at admiringly and tear up whenever they gaze up at you. 

I just couldn't wait to hand her back. Don't get me wrong. I have loved my daughter since before conception. But I just had major abdominal surgery and it was all her fault. 

Then you go home after three glorious days with an entire nursing staff taking care of you and your baby, and now you are on your own. 

My husband and I are very lucky. We have always had a lot if help from friends and family. And also, lucky for us, most unsolicited advice is at a minimum. I know plenty of people that have parents and in-laws who "know better than them"-ugh!

The only thing I could do for the first two weeks was feed the baby and feed myself. Awesome side note about breastfeeding-you can and WILL eat everything in sight. 

I couldn't really walk properly until the whole six weeks was up. I was always on top of my meds and stool softeners (they are as important as the pain meds, believe me!!)

It was scary those first six weeks. Because I didn't know how fully my body would recover. It did. And if you're going through the same thing, yours will too. I promise. Your body just grew a baby, then you had major surgery. It takes time to recover even without the surgery. So give yourself a break. 

That disconnect you may feel towards the little one-It's normal. It will go away. Give yourself, your body and your mind, time to heal. Then before you realize it, that child is your everything.